Good evening all,
Just a smallish update for you lovely peeps out there so you can see how I have been getting on.
Well, I guess the title gives you the idea that something big my way comes?
And yes, you'd be right.
EXAM DAY aaarrgh
So now that I am almost 47, why in the name of all things good, do I feel nauseous and like there is one hell of a cat fight going on in my stomach? 😟
Oh yes silly me... nerves!!! I mean at my age? Nerves?! Yup - that's me.
I may have said before that there is 3 parts to this exam. Whilst I am relatively ok with the A&P bit, the other 2 have me worrying that I will forget a bit. That I wont get the right piece of theory in the right place. That I wont remember the theory full-stop! 😕
Then there are the nursing models to remember. Guys like Kitwood (clever fella, check him out - knew a lot on dementia and how to treat someone better that is living with it- you may have seen the blue forget-me-not flower in relation to dementia).
You've then got Kübler-Ross and her 5 stages of grief. Roy and her model of adaptation. Prochaska and Di Clemente and their Transtheoretical Model (or Stages of Change). There are things like person centred care to think of, body image, how a person may adapt to living with a long term condition and so it goes on.
So okay, I may remember them, great. Then there are the 6C's that nursing has running through it like a stick of rock, not to mention the NMC Code (2015) something that as nurses (and even us students) have to work by. It's a professional code of conduct if you will, and as nurses are governed by this to some degree, then it's wise to include it on anything that you can to evidence you have thought about it.
And breathe...
Right ok...so we get to grips with the A&P and the nursing practice - then what?
Oh nuggets!!!
It's the bloomin' research element to contend with!!
You'll note that there is no coffee break in this little lot! 😓
Not cricket I tell you!
Dear readers, please do spare a thought on Wednesday afternoon, when I will be sat feeling overly anxious, nauseous 😧, with a bottle of water to drink if I get thirsty and NO COFFEE!! ☕
Honestly, how is a girl supposed to function without it??
Even most NHS shifts run on tea and coffee (and biscuits...and cake 🍰....and, well anything sweet I guess). Where was I? oh yes...research...
So yes, I have read the 10 page paper until I have fallen asleep on the ruddy thing!
I cannae read na' mor' captin...I may just beam up and never be seen again...
I mean research??? - its life Jim but not as I know it!!
I met with some student colleagues (and dear friends) last week in a little tea shop in Norwich. It's called 'Biddy's Tea Room'. Well worth a visit as the tea in there is just fab and the cake is (in the words of an old friend, George) "marvellous dear, marvellous". 🍰
Well I mean if you have to revise research where better than in tea rooms eating cake and drinking tea and coffee?
We got lots done and were in there the whole morning. Together I think we broke the back of the ruddy paper and had a much tighter grip on it than before.
"You seem to have it all under control Karen...what can go wrong?"
Thank you for the vote of confidence, I appreciate it, I really do, but I am suffering a bit of the 'what-ifs'.
What if I fail?
What if I go totally blank?
What if I misunderstand the question it asks me?
What if, what if, what if? Arrgh.
I hate exams. End of.
Thing is if I fail one bit, then I only re-sit the one bit, not the whole 9 yards.
Great news.
Thing is, I'm hoping that I get enough to pass this exam, so that I can concentrate on the rest of my course and naturally the forthcoming elective.
Did you know I'm off to Tanzania?
There is so much to do before then and yes, at times, it can be overwhelming and you start thinking why did I start this?
And do you know what? I sit and I reflect on these thoughts and finally come to the conclusion that I wanted to study nursing. In particular mental health nursing.
I wanted to put myself through the mill. I knew that this course wasn't going to be easy. If it was easy then we'd all be nurses I guess?
I know that it takes a special person to be a nurse; to want to submit themselves to life's pressures and to face the storm when the proverbial hits the fan for people. I am one of those people.
So when I get all wound up like this, I know that deep down I am doing this for me and in the hope that one day, I will help a person who is in the depths of despair and hopelessness with more to worry about than a ruddy exam.
I want to know that I will be educated enough to help them find a way to manage that suits them, not me or society; to know that one day I could be the person that can help someone see light at the end of their tunnel?
This will not be a job that is done for the money, it will be done so that one human can help another human and show them 'unconditional positive regard' (thanks Mr Rogers!).
We have one crack at life, lets make the best of what we have in the best way we can. It is possible.
My motto or life rule has, for many years, been that 'if for one second of one day, I can make a person smile, then for one second of one day that person has no trouble'.
I like humour and I hope that in reading some of my other posts, this will have come as no surprise. It has it's place in life, let alone nursing, but it is important and, used wisely, is an excellent tool to have in your kit bag as a nurse.
I just think nursing is amazing and such a privileged position to hold.
Anyways, I don't know about you but I need coffee after that little piece of drama or at least a drink of squash before bed.
You too? I don't blame you - enjoy
I will have a lighter bit of chat in my next blog. Thank you for reading.
😴 Night night and sleep well. 😴
Kx
